MEDICAL UPDATE

                                                  The Unexpected Journey

I have been finding it difficult to get the time to write on "The Unexpected Journey"  the way I had anticipated.    With several trips to the hospital each week and the fatigue that comes with chemotherapy,   I find I have to preserve my resources for the priorities like being ready for Sundays and fulfilling my pastoral responsibilities.    By the time evening comes,  which is when I write a lot,  I'm tired and it's difficult to write.      Right now I'm working on a Post called "Faith, Prayer, and Healing"  in which I will outline my theology of how faith and prayer intersect with healing.    Of course there are literally thousands of people who are praying that God would be merciful and raise me to health and strength and I think it is important for them to understand how God works.

On Sunday,  April 27, 2014, at the conclusion of our morning service at Parkway Bible Church (77 Ivordale Cres,  Toronto)  the Elders of my church will at my request lay hands on me,  anoint me with oil and pray over me that God would heal me and then they will invite the church family to pray as well.  (|According to James 5:13-16.   This is the only command we have in the New Testament about how we are to approach healing).      My hope is that this will be a powerful visual of what God wants us to do and that it will bring Him ultimate glory.      If you are free that Sunday please come and join us.

For now,  let me just give you a quick medical update on my situation.    Having been diagnosed with Stage IV Pancreatic cancer,  I was given a death sentence by the medical community.    Without chemotherapy life expectancy is generally less than 6 months and with chemotherapy perhaps one year.    There are some people who go longer but less than 1% have a life expectancy of one year.    In addition,  50% of people do not tolerate the chemotherapy very well.     The odds are stacked against me as far as the medical profession is concerned.

I am impressed with the people and staff at the Princess Margaret Hospital in downtown Toronto.   It is one of the top five,  if not the top, hospital in the world for treating Pancreatic cancer.    I have been very pleased with the care and attention they have given.    In the Post on "Faith, Prayer, and Healing" (Which I hope will be ready in the next few days),   I'll address the fact that I think it prudent to use the best that medical science has to offer and so I am doing as the Doctors say but you must realize that my trust is in the Lord God my creator and sustainer.   He is able to go beyond what medical science can.    I want to make it clear

Psalm 20:7       

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,  but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

Some trust in doctors and some in medical science,  but I trust in the name of the Lord my God.

                                                                                                       Hayden Paraphrase

Now, for the Medical update.    Having been diagnosed February 28,2014  I was fortunate to get to see the specialist at Princess Margaret Hospital fairly quickly.   Through my liver specialist I got an appointment with one of the top surgeons for Friday March 21,2014.     That seemed along way away for me.    I had a CT Scan in July 2013 that showed nothing, now,  I had stage IV Cancer.   This stuff was moving fast and I didn't want to wait almost a month to see a specialist.     I called his office and explained to the Doctors assistant,  "Four weeks is not a long time over 10 years but it is certainly a long time if you only have 6 months to live."     She worked me in to see the surgeon at the GI clinic for Tuesday March 11, 2014.

The visit to the surgeon was highly emotional but necessary.   His job was to tell me what we already knew in terms of the prognosis.    He was to the point and helpful.   There was no option for surgery and chemo might extend my life a few months if I could tolerate it.    As per a previous Post  in "The Unexpected Journey"  that was a pretty emotional day though  we were so calm and collective during our time with the Doctor that the Intern mentioned how calm we were in spite of the news we were being told.     I took the opportunity to tell the 4 medical people in the room at the time that our faith in God was solid and that He was our strength and assurance and the fact that we had a strong prayer support network.    Things moved fairly quickly from that point.    The regiment would be three weeks of chemotherapy and one off.    After the second cycle they will do a CT Scan to see where we are at and how effective the treatment has been.    This will be the first medically verifiable opportunity for God to show His healing power.      We trust Him for His timing.

Two days later on Thursday March 13 I was back to the hospital to see Dr. Natalie Cook the Medical Oncologist who is now walking with me through this "Unexpected Journey."     She outlined the plan going forward which would include chemotherapy but first a liver biopsy would be required to confirm the diagnosis before the chemo could start.     A Liver biopsy on Wednesday March 26, 2014 confirmed the diagnosis and the first Chemotherapy Session was on Friday March 28.    There were some minor complications from the biopsy.   After about four days I had some significant pain as the Liver healed.   This made it a bit difficult to function for a few days but nothing serious.

I had been told that the chemo would most likely have certain effects upon my body.    The first of course was fatigue and the second was that at some point my white blood cell count would go down and I would be susceptible to infection.   Of course the other one I was concerned about was nausea and vomiting.

The first session of chemo,  thankfully,  left no adverse effects.     The second session was on Friday April 4 and I thank God that again there were no adverse effects.    God has been good to me and I feel good.    For the most part you'd never know I have cancer or am on chemo.   No nausea,  and only a little fatigue.    I need to learn to pace myself and that is not easy as I'll explain in a moment.     I am not a good patient so this is a special blessing from God.

However,  if I am not careful and allow myself to get worn down there can be complications as I've experienced the last couple of days.   Yesterday was a very busy day and I expended a lot of energy throughout the day having got caught in an unplanned situation.    By the end of the day I was exhausted by activity that would not normally have bothered me but in this case with a weakened body it left me physically compromised.    In spite of extreme fatigue,  I could not sleep last night nor today.    I moaned with exhaustion and the desire to sleep but could not.    Insomnia is not something normal for me as I'm usually out almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.    I phoned the nurse line they gave me to call.    Insomnia can be a side effect of the chemo and they don't want me not getting sleep and rest.    It is not that my mind is racing or that I am worried about anything.   I just couldn't sleep.   They've prescribed a mild sleeping pill and so, for the first time in my life,  I'll use it tonight so I can be rested.    Tomorrow is study day and I have to be ready for Sunday.

Now, the personal side of this part of the journey.   I don't do slow down well.   My whole life I have been a pedal to the medal kind of person.   I don't know how to do things half way.    I work hard and I play hard.   I live wide open.    Most people have a hard time keeping up.   That's not to brag,  its just the kind of person God made me.     Well, when you have to battle fatigue,   you can't live wide open.   Your body won't let you.    Slowing down and learning to pace myself is an extremely hard lesson to learn.   It's not just hard on the body,  it's hard on the psyche.    I am programed to do but when God allows you to go through an experience like this,  you cannot always do.      In someways this is the most difficult aspect of dealing with cancer and chemotherapy.

After the drain of yesterday,  after Staff Meeting today,  I just had to go home and try to rest.   There were things left undone and I felt guilty, though I shouldn't have and my church is so understanding.  They want me to get well.   But being productive is just part of who I am and when I can't be productive I question my worth.   Now, I know I have to work on that and perhaps that's part of what God wants me to learn in this.    Our value and worth is not tied up in what we can produce but when you are a doer these are the kind of things you have to work through and they remind you that your worth is centred in the unconditional love and acceptance that is found only in Christ.    These are sometimes hard lessons because they go against everything that is natural and normal for you.    Sometimes God has to allow this tension so that you can recentre your life.     Ministry is not the centre of our lives.   Productivity is not the centre of our lives.     Christ is at the centre.   He is our strength.   He is our all in all.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,  Christ in the ear that hears me.

                                                                                                    St. Patrick 377 A.D.