Sting of the Scorpion


I have watched with sadness, as have you, over events of the past several weeks. As theatre goers attended the opening night of the movie "Dark Knight Rises" in Denver Colorado, a gunman dressed in costume open fired with several weapons killing 12 and injuring 58. Just a few days before, in Toronto where I live, two men attending a street party got in a gun fight that left 2 innocent bystanders dead including a 14 year old and a 23 year old man as well as 23 injured.  The week saw shootings several nights in a row. 

Whenever such events occur, our city fathers and other political leaders, experts, psychologist, and criminologist wax eloquent about the causes of such events and how we need to enact more gun control and pour more money into community resources or policing or both. I get the distinct sense that they want to appear to be doing something but don’t really know what to do. Throwing money at it seems to be their only solution.

Another trend I’ve been watching is the so called "war on drugs." If you watch the news you are aware for instances that millions of North Americans¹ are drug users and drug trafficking is a multi-billion dollar business involving gangs and organized crime. Approximately 1.5 Americans alone are arrested each year on drug offenses and 500,000 are imprisoned.  

Drug use accounts for 1/3 of the new HIV infections. At a recent HIV conference in Washington which gathered 23,000 participants including scientist, doctors and others in the fight against aids, it was suggested that the war on drugs actually contributes to the spread of Aids and some were calling for the end of the war on drugs.² In addition, it is estimated that 40,000 Mexicans have died in the war on drugs in that country, mostly as the result of organized drug cartels.

As I have thought about all this and have watched our leaders scurry for answers over many years and many instances, I have become increasingly convinced that our leaders do not have the answer and if they did have the answer it would not be politically correct to say and so it mostly goes unsaid. So, they have to be appear to be doing something. They pass laws, they pour money into poor communities, they develop better social programs and they beef up police presence. All of this may have its place, but no one, in our humanistic culture, wants to state the real problem and therefore will not come to the correct conclusion.

The real problem is much deeper and will not be resolved by more laws or social programs or by throwing more money at it. The real problem is as old as humanity itself and unless it is addressed correctly, all the efforts of our leaders go for naught. And unfortunately, the solution can not be legislated and in fact is anathema in our present culture. Let me tell you a story to illustrate the problem.

The scorpion wanted to cross to the other side of the pond. He couldn’t figure out a way to get there until he saw a frog sitting on the bank of the pond. Going over to the frog he said, "Please, I need to get across the pond, but I can’t swim. Can I get on your back and have you hop me across the pond?"

"Well," said the frog, "as a matter of fact I was just about to hop to the other side. I’d be glad to give you a ride on my back if you promise not to sting me when we reach the other side."

"Oh," exclaimed the scorpion, "I promise not to sting you. I just want a ride across the pond."

So the frog said, "Hop on." Then he hopped across the pond with the scorpion on his back. But just as soon as they landed on the other side, the scorpion stung the frog. As the poisonous venom took its effect, and the frog lay dying on the shore, he looked at the scorpion in disbelief and asked, "How could you do this to me? I gave you a ride across the pond just as you asked and you promise that you would not sting me. Now look what you’ve done. Why did you betray my trust?

Instantly the scorpion shrugged and replied, "It’s my nature to sting."

The real problem in the "war on drugs" for instance is that people want the drugs. The reason they want the drugs is a result of the moral decay of our culture. The result of our secularization and pursuit of humanism has left people have no hope, no moral compass, no foundation for living. The further our culture runs from God and seeks its "self actualization" and "fulfilment", the less self actualized and fulfilled it becomes.

Fundamentally, human nature itself is sinful. Just as it is the nature of the scorpion to sting, so it is the nature of humans to sin and without God and with the lessening of godly influence in our culture we are on a collision course with moral decay and ultimate disaster.   We will always act on our basic nature.  

I doubt very much that our politicians and secular leaders are going to call for a return to God.   In a secular pluralistic society such a call would be anathema³.   So, though they do not really know what to do, they will make noise, they will pass laws, they will seek to appear to be doing something but they do not have the solution.

So, what are you and I to do. I believe that the church of Jesus Christ is the only hope of the world.   We actually have the Gospel message that God uses to change the human heart and transform lives and to transform our very nature.    No, the world was never perfect and never will be.    Basic human nature has not and will not change.    The scorpion stings because that’s what scorpions do.    Sin will always be with us.   However, God is in the business of transforming our nature and changing lives through faith in His Son and by the power of the Holy Spirit residing in us.    As good as social programs may be, communities change as individual hearts change and God changes hearts.

At the risk of being called "simplistic" and preaching "pie in the sky", let me suggest that what the world needs right now is not more politicians seeking to appear like they are doing something, but rather the church of God upon her knees crying out for a revival that will transform one person at a time.    The problem is in the scorpions sting and Jesus Christ is the only one, the only one, who can change our very nature.    Pray for Revival Church.  Pray for Revival.

1.   And countless others around the world

2. Infection with the HIV virus is often spread through the sharing of needles

3. Anathema - something that one extremely dislikeS

5 Bible Verses

You Might Be

Misusing

Those of us who claim to be Bible believing Christians are purveyors of the truth. That is we have been entrusted with the truth of God that we may proclaim it to the world. It is important then that when we seek to speak or quote the Word of God we are doing it carefully and accurately. If we are careless in handling the Word of God, claiming it says something it does not, we under mind our credibility with our hearers and perhaps even find ourselves living out beliefs that the Bible doesn’t actually teach. This may lead to faulty living, confusion, disappointment (when God doesn’t come through the way we thought He had promised) and even the shipwreck of our faith.1

We all know that false teachers and cults misuse scripture. We also know that it is important not to take scripture out of context. Yet I have noticed that there are numerous ways that followers of Jesus misuse certain scriptures to assert truths that the verse or passage doesn’t actually address or even worse, may actually be contrary to scripture
So, today’s Friday Five consist of 5 commonly misused scriptures. Please realize that I can’t fully develop these misuses here but rather tease you a bit and encourage you to do a little research yourself and perhaps even share your comments here.
(Please see the comments box below)

1. Judge Not Lest You Be Judged
Judge not, that you be not judged. (Matthew 7:1) How many times have you heard someone say, "Judge not lest you be judged" to suggest that we should never evaluate or criticize anyone for anything. Sometimes it may be in reference to some moral or theological issue. The assertion is made that we should not judge ideas or actions. Yet is this really what the verse refers to.

If you check the context you’ll see that Jesus is actually teaching His followers to be discerning and perceptive so that they can judge between truth and error, genuine faith and religious sham.2   There is a contrast between the false self-righteous righteousness of the Pharisees and the true righteousness which is from God.

The Pharisees judged according to their false set of rules. Jesus is actually telling us, not that we should not evaluate or criticize anyone, but rather that we must be careful to judge by the right set of standards. That set of standards is God’s Word.

2. Where 2 or 3 Are Gathered
For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them. (Matthew 18:20)

We misuse this verse constantly to mean that whenever 2 or 3 of us believers get together to worship, God is there. Now we certainly hope and pray that when 2 or 3 of us get together to worship, God is there to receive our worship. In fact He delights in the praise of His people. However, that’s not what this passage is teaching.

The context of the verse is Church Discipline. The verse actually teaches us that God is with His church when they seek to purify the church. The "bind and loose" of verse 18 refer to God’s approval and support of the discipline of the church. Note too the reference to 2 or 3 witnesses required.3  If the church is to carry out any discipline in God’s name there must be 2 or 3 witnesses.4
3. All Things Work Together For Good
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

I love this verse and how many times have we used it in our efforts to comfort our friends to tell them that somehow in this terrible circumstance in which they find themselves God is going to bring something good out of it. Bad things do indeed happen to good people and God does often bring about something good but I’m not sure that’s exactly what this verse is telling us.

This is a magnificent verse concerning the believers security and hope in Christ. It speaks of the security of the believer. It is not saying that God prevents believers from experiencing the pains of life but that He ultimately turns it into blessing. This may include temporal blessing in this world, but notice from verse 29.5 that the ultimate good that God is bringing about through our circumstances, good and bad, is that He is conforming us to the image of Christ. God is always much more interested in your character than in your comfort.

We think in such a finite, temporal way, God thinks in terms of the eternal. His ultimate goal is to make us more like His glorious Son and as His eternal children we know that whatever happens to us, God will use it to make us more Christlike. I ask myself, am I more interested in my comfort and that good things will happen to me, or am I more more interested in becoming more like Jesus.

4. Train Up A Child
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

Taking this verse as an absolute promise of God has brought heartache and pain to many a parent. It’s commonly quoted as a promise that if you raise your children right they will never depart from the ways of the Lord. I’ve heard another spin that says the verse means that if you raise your child according to God’s Word, though they may depart for a time they will eventually come back to the Lord. The problem is that many take this as an absolute promise from God and when children, who have their own will and make their own choices,6 turn from the Lord, the parents either conclude they did something wrong, were terrible parents or God broke His word.

When studying scripture you must always remember what style of literature the passage is. Proverbs is wisdom literature. It’s poetic. The proverbs are not stated as absolute promises from God,7 rather they are snipits of wisdom that are generally true.
In the case of Children for instance. If you love them and discipline them properly, teach them the ways of the Lord, it is generally true that they will embrace the Lord and not depart from the faith. If I live godly before my children and teach them the love of Christ there is a very, very good chance that they will embrace Christ for their own, but it is not guaranteed. The misuse of this verse can bring great sorrow and guilt upon parents who have lived faithfully before their children, taught them well, raised them well, but their children have chosen not to become followers of Jesus. 

5. Money Is The Root Of All Evil
For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. (1 Timothy 6:10)Actually the most common problem with this verse is that it is misquoted. We often here it quoted "Money is the root of all evil," when it actually says "the love of money is the root of all kinds of evils." Some have even concluded on the basis of this verse that it is wrong for Christians to be rich or to invest their finances.

Paul’s actual point here is that we are to learn to be content. Those who lust after money often end up falling into all kinds of trouble and Satan will often use their lack of contentment and their lust for money to snare and destroy them.   It's not having money
that can destroy you it is craving, the lusting after money that is destructive. 8

So, there are the Friday Five. I love to have your comments or your contributions of other commonly misused scripture verses. (Please use the comment box below.)

Remember, we are to handle God’s Word with care.
--------------------
1. Shipwreck Faith - I am not suggesting here that a truly born again believer will lose their salvation but rather they live in a state of misunderstanding that brings instability into their lives so that they are unable to live and experience the abundant life that Christ has intended.

2. Like that of the Pharisees

3. Matthew 18:16

4. Note another commonly misused scripture within this context "if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them (Matt 18:19). We usually take this to mean that if 2 or 3 of us pray for anything we can have it. Again, this is in context of when the church seeks to carry out discipline.

5. Rom 8:29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

6. There are many other influences on a child’s life including the ways of the world, the schools they attend, and the vast influence of media to mention only a few.

7. When God promises something, gives His Word, then we know it will be fulfilled 100% of the time or He is not God. In the study of scripture we must be sure that we are not making God promise something that He has not actually promised. To do so leads to dreadful guilt, doubt and confusion. It can also at times make us Christians look very silly.

8. Not withstanding that God expects us to be stewards of our possessions and to use them according to Biblical Principles.

The Five Pillars Of Islam

THE FRIDAY FIVE

September 11,2001 changed everything.  It was a Tuesday morning.  I was sitting in my study preparing for the following Sunday when my wife (Wendy) called to say an air plane had flown into the side of the World Trade Center in New York City.   The tragedy of that day is now etched in our minds.   We may not have thought much about Islam before that day, but it certainly occupies our thinking now.    Almost every day we hear something on the news about Islam and Muslims 1 and we all may have opinions on whether Islam is a religion of terror or a religion of peace (perhaps something on that another time).


I get a kick out of watching the little Muslim girls on my street playing street hockey with the boys wearing their hijabs 2.  Around the corner is perhaps one of the largest Muslim shopping areas in the country, many stores displaying Arabic on their signs and advertisements.  In the city where I live, Toronto, Canada, and in my neighbourhood in particular there are signs of Islam everywhere.   Eleven years after 9/11 Islam has our attention.


You too may be much more aware of Islam then ever before and yet wonder, who are these people and what do they believe?   Obviously I can’t answer those questions in one blog post but for our Friday Five I thought I’d share with you the “Five Pillars” of Islam.   These are the five fundamental beliefs or practices that are the foundation of Islam.


1. The Shahada   - The Creed
After doctors inspect a new born baby boy, a Muslim father will whisper into his ear words that he will hear all his life.   They are the words of the Muslim creed, “There is no god but Allah.  Muhammad is the messenger of Allah.”   These words are repeated through his whole life and even at death.  Every Muslim is to repeat those words daily to demonstrate their allegiance to Allah.


2. The Salat  - Prayer
Prayer is the most basic tenet of Islam and is the ultimate worship of a Muslim.  The call to prayer is consistent.  “God is great. God is great. God is great. God is great.   I testify that there is none worthy of worship except God.  I testify that there is none worthy of worship except God.  I testify that Muhammad is the messenger of God.  I testify that Muhammad is the messenger of God.  Come to prayer! Come to prayer!  Come to success!  Come to success!  God is great!  God is great.”


Allah will only hear their prayers if they are physically clean therefore Muslims must perform a cleaning ritual before they pray. 3  Prayer is not personal as in talking to Allah personally but is rather ritualistic and according to formula.   Prayer in the Mosque is considered 25 times greater than individually.   It is believed that if prayers are not repeated 5 times a day the Muslim will forget about Allah.


3. The Zakat - Almsgiving
It is believed that Almsgiving cleanses the Muslim of greed and selfishness while at the same time relieving and bettering the community.   Muslims are to understand that Allah owns everything and they are obligated to give 2.5 % of their income after expenses. 4


4. The Saum - Ramadan Fast
You may be familiar with Ramadan when Muslims fast from Dawn to Dusk.  Ramadan is actually the ninth month of the lunar calendar.   During the month of Ramadan the faithful Muslim denies his own needs and seeks Allah.   Muslims believe that Muhammad received his revelation from Allah in the form of the Qur’an during the month of Ramadan. 5     So Ramadan is a time of celebrating Allah and the Koran which the Muslim is to recite more often during Ramadan.


Usually the fasting entails no drinking, eating, or sexual relations during the daylight hours during the entire month.   Not to participate in Ramadan (without legitimate exemption) is considered to be an unpardonable sin with potential eternal consequences.

Each evening the feast is broken with a gathering at the family meal called the Iftar.  The meal starts with the eating of one or more (usually three) dates just as Muhammad used to do.  Then it’s time for the Maghrib prayer, which is the fourth of the five daily prayers, after which the main meal is served.  

5. Hajj  - Pilgrimage to Mecca

The Ka’aba, 6  is the focal point of Mecca and the religion of Islam.   In the tradition of Islam,  Abraham was commanded to sacrifice Ishmael, 7  but  Allah provided a ram in his stead.   In thanksgiving to Allah, Abraham built a place of worship, which is the Ka’aba.    All Muslims are to make a pilgrimage to Mecca to worship at the Ka’aba at least once in their life time.   No doubt you have seen TV news footage of thousands of Muslims around the Ka’aba in Mecca.

The pilgrimage to Mecca is the climax of a Muslim’s spiritual journey and they must prepare themselves mentally and spiritually for the trip.   Only Muslims are allowed in Mecca and they must wear simple white robes to demonstrate unity and travel a very specific path. 

Muslims are united in these five pillars for one main purpose, to find forgiveness and the mercy of Allah that they might enter Paradise.    In the faith of Islam there is no ultimate assurance of the forgiveness of sin and salvation.   To get to heaven a Muslim believes he/she must work hard to live out these five pillars, meditate and hope for mercy from Allah.   Their hope is that some how in the end the scales of justice will be balanced in their favour and Allah might have mercy upon them. 8

In spite of what you might think of Muslims.   In spite of what you read in the news about jihad.   In spite of the terrorism you may fear.   Muslims are people for whom Christ died.   People to whom He requires that we take the Good News, the Gospel of Forgiveness Through Jesus Christ.

Giving thanks to the Father, 

who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.   

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness 

and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, 

in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. 

                                                                                                                              Colossians 1:12-14

1. Islam : Comes from the Arabic verbal noun (like a gerund) s-l-m.  The etymology of s-l-m is to submit, accept, or surrender.   From this comes Islam’s conventional definition of surrender to God.   Generally it speaks of the religion as a whole.
Muslim: Has its roots in the s-l-m verb. It is a participle of the verb and refers to a person who engages in the act of submission, acceptance, or surrender. Therefore a Muslim is a person who submits to the will of God, or a follower of Islam.


2.  Head covering


3. Wash their hands up to their wrists three times - rinse out the mouth three times - wash the face from forehead to chin and from ear to ear - wash the forearms up to the elbows three times - pass a wet hand over the whole of the head - wash the feet up to the ankles three times, right then left.


4. This is 2.5% of net balance after paying personal expenses, family expenses, debts taxes etc.  A Muslim is required to pay the Zakat if he has the value of 85grams of gold ($3,096.55) at the end of the year.


5. The Qur'an (Koran, Quran) is the Holy Book of Islam.   Muslims consider it the actual word of Allah and not the word of Muhammad to whom it was given. Muslim tradition states that the angel Gabriel visited Muhammad and gave him the words directly from Allah. These words were Allah's words of wisdom, truth, and commandments to His creation.   
Muhammad claimed that in 610 (believed to be the 26th of Ramadan), while in a cave on Mt. Hirah (now called Mount Jabal Nur),  the angel Gabriel appeared to him and gave him revelation and that he continued to receive these revelations until the time of his death in 632.   


In fact, since Muhammad could neither read or write, his sayings and claimed revelations were written down on various materials and not actually compiled into the Koran until 651 by the fourth leader of Islam, Caliph Uthman.


6. The Ka'aba (cube in Arabic), a shrine about 60 feet, by 60 feet, by 60 feet, containing hundreds of idols.   The Ka'aba was believed to have been built by Abraham and his son Ishmael on the same spot as the first shrine to God built by Adam.  (Other notes I have read give different dimensions).   On the eastern corner of the Ka'aba is the Black stone called in Arabic, Hajar al Aswad.    The Black Stone is probably a meteorite.   The Ka'aba was also known as the House of Allah where Allah was recognized as the supreme deity.


7.  No this is not a mistake.   The Bible says that Abraham was to offer Isaac but as in other familiar Biblical stories Islam has changed them to fit their story.


8.  One exception to this is to die in Jihad.  If one dies in Jihad against the unbeliever his sins are forgiven and he will enjoy 70 gold couches with 70 virgins in Paradise.  

The Friday Five

What? You may ask is "Friday Five". Well, every Friday I’ll try to give you a list of five items that I think you’ll find interesting, helpful or entertaining. It could be a list of five Christians I wish I had met, five funny stories, five inspirational quotes, five favourite songs or five important dates in church history or five  whatever. 

I’m trying to write a number of serious blog posts each month but they appear on random days. I hope to have "The Friday Five" posted each and every Friday morning so you’ll be able to visit Pastor Rick’s Study on a regular basis and find something interesting and informative. This week "The Friday Five" features five books well worth your time.

Five Books You Should Read

I have read thousands of books over the years. In the early years I spent a lot of money on books that weren’t really worth the investment of time or money. In later years I have tried to be more selective.  In today’s "The Friday Five" I want to introduce you to five books that I believe would be a good investment of your time and money. These cover a wide range of topics and are in no particular order.

1. Number One: "Why We Love The Church"¹

by Kevin DeYoung & Ted Kluck

Personally I’ve been disturbed by a growing criticism and neglect of the church, the Bride of Christ, by many who claim to be followers of Christ.    Christ loves the church in spite of its imperfections,  and those who love Christ ought to love the church. DeYoung and Kluck provide us with a much needed reminder as to why we should love the church.
"If Jesus thought the church was worth dying for, it may just be worth living in. While not ignoring the sins of the church, DeYoung and Kluck remind us why church bashing is often shallow, and why the institutional church remains the most authentic place to encounter the good news of Jesus Christ." 

Mark Galli, senior managing editor, Christianity Today

^{2. Number Two: "the Reason For God - belief in the age of  skepticism"2}

by Timothy Keller
Tim Keller, the Pastor of Six Thousand member Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, gives a brilliant theological and intellectual defence of the faith. If you want answers for the skeptics "The Reason For God" is a must read as Keller gives not only a clear defence to intellectual objections to faith but also clear reasons for faith.

Topics include:

"How Could A Good God Allow Suffering?"

"How Can A Loving God Send People To Hell?"

"Has Science Disproved Christianity?"

"The Problem Of Sin"

"The Reality Of The Resurrection"

3. Number Three: "What Is The Gospel?"³

by Greg Gilbert

There is a lot of confusion in the church today, even in evangelical circles as to just what is the gospel message. If the message is not clear to us, how can we ever expect to proclaim it to an unbelieving world that so desperately needs it.   Gilbert’s book is a welcome declaration of the Biblical Gospel message. I think this is so crucial in this day that I have given this book away by the dozens and will continue to do so. The book is only 124 pages but is desperately needed in the church today. A must read for every follower of Jesus.
"Provides a biblically faithful explanation of the gospel and equips Christians to discern deviations from that glorious message. How I wish I could place this book in the hands of every pastor and church member."         C.J. Mahaney, Sovereign Grace Ministries ^{4. Four: "Christian Beliefs - 20 basics every Christian should know" 4}by Wayne Grudem

Grudem is, if not the best, certainly among the best theological minds in the world today and a great gift to the church. This little book is a condensed version of his "Bible Doctrine" which is a layman’s version of his much heavier "Systematic Theology."

Grudem covers 20 of the most essential doctrines that every Christian should know. New Christians should be given this book and in a day of theological confusion, I think that every serious Christian should at least read and digest this book.

Topics Include:

"What Is The Bible"

"What Is God Like"

"What Is Sin"

"Who Is Christ"

"What Are Justification And Adoption"

"What Is The Final Judgment"

5. Number Five: "Unveiling Islam"⁵

by Ergun Mehment Caner & Emir Fethi Caner

"It gave him no pleasure to disown or disinherit his sons. It broke his heart. Yet it was all he could do, given his beliefs and the teachings of Islam."    Ergun and Emir Caner were brought up as Muslims but were disowned by their father when they came to faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour. Well grounded in the teachings of Islam, they are now professors at Christian seminaries and well qualified to unveil the history and teachings of Islam and the implications for our day. An excellent primer in understanding your Muslim neighbours and their beliefs.

On Comfort And Grief

As I write this my mother lays very sick in the hospital many hours away. Just a few short months ago she was living in her own apartment, fixing her own meals and shopping for her own groceries. Then, she broke her hip and had it surgically repaired, and returned home seemingly on the mend. Everything seemed fine, but some test or another revealed something else to the surgeon.

After several biopsies it was revealed that she had cancer in her lymph nodes. Just last Friday the Doctors said this was very treatable and they were to begin chemo treatments today. Just half a dose to see how her body would handle it. Our hopes were high. I waited for my sister’s call that Mom was doing fine after the chemo. Then last night an MRI revealed a very aggressive brain tumour too severe to expect good response to treatment. As my niece said, "one moment she’s aware and then next she’s out of it."

We are half way there, held up in a hotel for the night. I want to get there to see my Mom, to talk to her, to do what I can. I have experienced a lot of difficulties and hurts over the years. I’m not impervious or unfeeling but I have had to learn to role with the punches. Sometimes life kicks you in gut and you’ve got to decide whether you’re going to let it destroy you or build you. Whether you will become better or bitter because of it.   As I’ve thought forward to a time like this, I thought I’d be pretty strong, and unemotional. I think I will be when its needed, but I find myself way more emotional then I ever thought I would be.

Over the years I have comforted a lot of people facing suffering, loss and even death. I’ve sought to bring comfort to those who faced long hospital stays, dying loved ones, tragic deaths, suicides and have even walked with those facing their own inevitable death. But this is different. It has never happened so close to home. This is my mom and the outlook doesn’t look good. I’ve always been the one bringing comfort in the midst of grief. Now that I’m facing this from the other side of the table things look a little different and I’m thinking from the perspective of the comforted rather than the comforter.

Until the past few months, the last time my mom was in the hospital was when she delivered me almost 62 years ago. I’m hoping that my mom will recover, but what if she doesn’t? What if she does not respond to treatment, what if there is no treatment? How do you comfort someone in times like this? Here are some thoughts (in random order) as I wrestle with all this.

1. Don’t Be Afraid of My Tears - Let Me Heal

Today when I called one of my Elders to tell him the situation and inform him that I would be going to see my mom, I felt a lump in my throat and had to pause as I held back the tears. Having lost someone very dear to him, I knew he understood. Jesus also understood. He had stood at the grave side of Lazarus and was deeply moved at the death of His friend and the pain of the mourners.¹ Don’t be afraid of the tears, they are part of the mourning and part of the healing.

2. Don’t Try Eliminate My Sense Of Loss. - Share In The Value Of My Memory

Yes, if our loved one is a follower of Jesus we have the hope of Heaven and the hope of reunion, but that doesn’t eliminate the sense of loss in this world. There will be no Sunday afternoon calls to my mom to talk about the Blue Jays, to annoy her by lovingly calling her "old girl" or for her to ask how the kids are doing. My mom was a walking encyclopaedia of relatives, birth dates and family information, who could we go to for that information if she is not here.

People have to move through the stages of grief and you can help, but don’t try to eliminate the great sense of loss they are feeling. It is natural and is good. It adds value to their memory.

3. Don’t Insist On Giving Me False Hope - Bring The Comfort Of Christ

I know that God can heal and sometimes for His own sovereign purposes He does. But, more often than not he allows nature to take its course. Please, don’t tell me that if I just had more faith God would heal my mom. Frankly, that’s nonsense. There is no promise from God in His Word that we will all be healed all the time. "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: ... a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; (Eccl 3:1,4)

It’s okay to tell the miracles stories you’ve heard or experienced of people in the same circumstance being healed but don’t try to give me false hope, rather help me face the reality of the moment. Help me be prepared in the event that things are not going to get better, that God is not going to heal. (Don’t try to label me as having a lack of faith here. I have experienced God’s healing personally so I know He does great and wondrous things. But the reality is that death is camped outside our door and sooner or later it will take each of us).

Remind me that in my pain and in my sorrow, Christ is there. Remind me that He is my peace and He will not leave me or forsake me in my sorrow and trials.²

4. Don’t Feel You Have To Say Anything - Just Be There

There’s nothing brilliant you can say at time like this. There’s nothing you can say that will take the pain away (as a matter of fact - working through the pain is part of the healing). Some avoid talking with those who are hurting or grieving, or in this case dealing with uncertainty, because they don’t know what to say. I’ve learned over the years of being the comforter that people don’t need you to say anything. Just being there shows your support and is a tremendous encouragement. Knowing you care is enough.   Now I'm learning this by experience.

5. Don’t Under Estimate The Value Of Your Encouragement - Just Do It.

I never knew how important get well cards were until I lay dying in the hospital in 1996. I had always thought they were a waste of money. Then as I lay in that hospital room and cards and letters and visits of encouragement began to come, it lifted my spirits. It reminded me that I was not forgotten, that I mattered.
When your friends are facing trials and grief, don’t under estimate the value of your encouragement. I know that saying "I’ll be praying for you" is the Christian way of saying "I’m thinking about you" or "I’m with you". (I’m sure that many do pray but I’m equally sure many don’t.  We know what you mean). It is important that you show encouragement and support.   A quick e-mail, Face Book post, card, call, they all serve to bring support and encouragement.

You know what? I’m okay. I hope these thoughts might help you come along side those in your circle when they face trials and loss.

God Bless You.

Pastor Rick

1.  John 11:33-36
2. John 14:27; Hebrews 13:4